diff --git a/assets/1x/iphone.png b/assets/1x/iphone.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..53e0818
Binary files /dev/null and b/assets/1x/iphone.png differ
diff --git a/assets/2x/Pasted image.png b/assets/2x/Pasted image.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9ce76c1
Binary files /dev/null and b/assets/2x/Pasted image.png differ
diff --git a/assets/2x/afterimage.png b/assets/2x/afterimage.png
index 7fdce19..48fcf2c 100644
Binary files a/assets/2x/afterimage.png and b/assets/2x/afterimage.png differ
diff --git a/assets/2x/blind.png b/assets/2x/blind.png
index c064748..c3c8dcb 100644
Binary files a/assets/2x/blind.png and b/assets/2x/blind.png differ
diff --git a/assets/2x/escapey.png b/assets/2x/escapey.png
index a3dfde0..14bfd6b 100644
Binary files a/assets/2x/escapey.png and b/assets/2x/escapey.png differ
diff --git a/assets/2x/icon.png b/assets/2x/icon.png
index 11ace88..45adea8 100644
Binary files a/assets/2x/icon.png and b/assets/2x/icon.png differ
diff --git a/assets/2x/iphone.png b/assets/2x/iphone.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9059d4f
Binary files /dev/null and b/assets/2x/iphone.png differ
diff --git a/assets/2x/martingale.png b/assets/2x/martingale.png
index 1ce9b94..630fa5e 100644
Binary files a/assets/2x/martingale.png and b/assets/2x/martingale.png differ
diff --git a/assets/2x/void.png b/assets/2x/void.png
index 8fb66fe..1d5845f 100644
Binary files a/assets/2x/void.png and b/assets/2x/void.png differ
diff --git a/assets/sounds/milestone.ogg b/assets/sounds/milestone.ogg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..3def76f
Binary files /dev/null and b/assets/sounds/milestone.ogg differ
diff --git a/localization/en-us.lua b/localization/en-us.lua
index fdc583a..a9208e6 100644
--- a/localization/en-us.lua
+++ b/localization/en-us.lua
@@ -10,8 +10,22 @@ return {
                 },
             },
             b_Roland_go = {
-                name = "placeholder",
-                text = {"grr"},
+                name = "Pass GO Deck",
+                text = {
+                    "Start with a {C:attention}Credit Card",
+                    "Set money to {C:money}0$",
+                    "when entering the shop",
+                },
+            },
+        },
+        BakeryCharm = {
+            BakeryCharm_Roland_iphone = {
+                name = "fat i phone",
+                text = {
+                    "Enter the shop",
+                    "when any {C:attention}Blind",
+                    "is {C:attention}skipped",
+                },
             },
         },
         Blind = {
@@ -37,6 +51,14 @@ return {
             },
         },
         Joker = {
+            j_Roland_bulldozer = {
+                name = "Bulldozer",
+                text = {
+                    "Give {X:red,C:white}XMult{} equal to",
+                    "the current {C:attention}Blind Size{C:attention}",
+                    "{C:inactive}(Currently {X:red,C:white}X#1#{C:inactive})",
+                },
+            },
             j_Roland_escapey = {
                 name = "Escapey",
                 text = {
@@ -63,6 +85,46 @@ return {
                     },
                 },
             },
+            j_Roland_estrogen = {
+                name = "Estrogen",
+                text = {"{C:mult}+Chips{} Mult"},
+            },
+            j_Roland_hexagon = {
+                name = "Hexagon",
+                text = {
+                    "Earn {C:money}#1#${} if",
+                    "played hand is a",
+                    "{C:attention}Four of a Kind",
+                },
+            },
+            j_Roland_hexagoner = {
+                name = "Hexagoner",
+                text = {
+                    "This Joker gains the",
+                    "rank of {C:attention}unscored cards",
+                    "if played hand is a",
+                    "{C:attention}Four of a Kind",
+                    "{C:inactive}(Currently {C:red}+#1#{C:inactive} Mult)",
+                },
+            },
+            j_Roland_hexagonest = {
+                name = "Hexagonest",
+                text = {
+                    "{C:attention}Unscored cards{} add a",
+                    "permanent copy to deck",
+                    "and draw it to {C:blue}hand",
+                    "if played hand is a",
+                    "{C:attention}Four of a Kind",
+                },
+            },
+            j_Roland_misfortune = {
+                name = "Misfortune Cookie",
+                text = {
+                    "{C:tarot}Tarot{} cards created",
+                    "by {C:tarot}Purple Seals",
+                    "become {C:dark_edition}Negative",
+                },
+            },
             j_Roland_martingale = {
                 name = "Martingale",
                 text = {
@@ -76,6 +138,72 @@ return {
                     "{s:0}Otherwise {C:green,s:0}#1# in #2#{s:0} chance to give {X:mult,C:white,s:0}X#9#{s:0} Mult",
                 },
             },
+            j_Roland_mrsbones = {
+                name = "Mrs. Bones",
+                text = {
+                    "{X:red,C:white}X#1#{} Mult",
+                    "{C:red,E:1}Self destructs{} if {C:chips}chips",
+                    "scored at the end of",
+                    "the {C:attention}Blind{} are less than",
+                    "{C:attention}#2#%{} of required {C:chips}chips",
+                },
+            },
+            j_Roland_msjoker = {
+                name = "Ms. Joker",
+                text = {"{C:chips}+#1#{} Chips"},
+            },
+            j_Roland_oops = {
+                name = "Oops! All 7s",
+                text = {
+                    "Listed {C:green,E:1}probabilities",
+                    "{C:attention}increase{} for each",
+                    "{C:hand}hand played this round",
+                    "{C:inactive}(Currently {C:green}X#1#{C:inactive})",
+                },
+            },
+            j_Roland_rigged = {
+                name = "Rigged",
+                text = {
+                    "{C:blue}#1#{}#2#{C:green}#3#{}#4#{C:red}#5#{}#6#{C:edition}#7#{}#8#{C:legendary}#9#{}#10#{C:dark_edition}#11#",
+                    "jokers cannot appear",
+                    "{C:attention}Upgrade{} this card by",
+                    "obtaining another {C:attention}Rigged",
+                },
+            },
+            j_Roland_sunny = {
+                name = "Sunny Side Up",
+                text = {
+                    "Sell this Joker to",
+                    "{C:attention}draw{} the bottom",
+                    "card of the {C:hand}deck",
+                    "{C:inactive}(Currently {V:1}#1##2#{V:2}#3#{C:inactive})",
+                },
+            },
+            j_Roland_temple = {
+                name = "Temple",
+                text = {
+                    "{C:attention}Unscored {C:enhanced}wild{} cards",
+                    "give {X:red,C:white}X#1#{} Mult",
+                },
+            },
+            j_Roland_yard = {
+                name = "Yard Sale",
+                text = {
+                    "Gain {C:money}#1#${} when a",
+                    "card is {C:attention}removed",
+                    "from the deck",
+                },
+            },
+        },
+        Other = {
+            Roland_glass_seal = {
+                name = "Glass Seal",
+                text = {
+                    "Gives a random tag at",
+                    "the end of the {C:attention}Blind",
+                    "{C:red,E:1}Self destructs{} if {C:attention}drawn",
+                },
+            },
         },
         Spectral = {
             c_Roland_afterimage = {
@@ -86,6 +214,22 @@ return {
                     "{C:red}#2#{} hand size",
                 },
             },
+            c_Roland_dual = {
+                name = "Dual",
+                text = {
+                    "Add random seals",
+                    "to {C:attention}#1#{} random",
+                    "cards in {C:hands}hand",
+                },
+            },
+            c_Roland_mirror = {
+                name = "Mirror",
+                text = {
+                    "Add a {C:dark_edition}Glass Tag",
+                    "to {C:attention}#1#{} selected",
+                    "card in {C:hands}hand",
+                },
+            },
             c_Roland_void = {
                 name = "Void",
                 text = {
@@ -102,7 +246,13 @@ return {
             c_Roland_Pastries = "Sweet Pastries",
         },
         v_dictionary = {
+            b_Roland_comma = ", ",
+            b_Roland_of = " of ",
             b_Roland_most_common_card = "(Rank)",
+            b_Roland_na = "N/A",
+        },
+        labels = {
+            Roland_glass_seal = "Glass Seal",
         },
         v_text = {
             ch_c_Roland_Jokerful = {"Only the {C:common}default Joker{} can appear in shops"},
diff --git a/lovely.toml b/lovely.toml
index f79db91..8311a94 100644
--- a/lovely.toml
+++ b/lovely.toml
@@ -71,7 +71,7 @@ target = "card.lua"
 pattern = "if self.seal == 'Purple' and #G.consumeables.cards + G.GAME.consumeable_buffer < G.consumeables.config.card_limit then"
 position = "at"
 payload = """if self.seal == 'Purple' and
-    (next(SMODS.find_card "j_Roland_negative") or
+    (next(SMODS.find_card "j_Roland_misfortune") or
     #G.consumeables.cards + G.GAME.consumeable_buffer < G.consumeables.config.card_limit) then"""
 match_indent = true
 
@@ -81,7 +81,7 @@ target = "card.lua"
 pattern = "local card = create_card('Tarot',G.consumeables, nil, nil, nil, nil, nil, '8ba')"
 position = "after"
 times = 1
-payload = """if next(SMODS.find_card "j_Roland_negative") then
+payload = """if next(SMODS.find_card "j_Roland_misfortune") then
     card:set_edition "e_negative"
 end"""
 match_indent = true
diff --git a/src/charm.lua b/src/charm.lua
index f316df4..1a12e65 100644
--- a/src/charm.lua
+++ b/src/charm.lua
@@ -1,8 +1,15 @@
 local _, q = unpack(... or require "src.functional")
 
+SMODS.Atlas {
+    key = "iphone",
+    path = "iphone.png",
+    px = 68,
+    py = 68,
+}
+
 Bakery_API.Charm {
-    key = "tags",
-    atlas = "void",
+    key = "iphone",
+    atlas = "iphone",
     pos = {x = 0, y = 0},
     calculate = function(_, _, context)
         local _ = context.skip_blind and q(function()
diff --git a/src/functional.lua b/src/functional.lua
index 9080bc6..f7493a6 100644
--- a/src/functional.lua
+++ b/src/functional.lua
@@ -23,7 +23,9 @@ local function protect_ev(fun)
     return fun
 end
 
+local origf = F
 local luaf = assert(SMODS.load_file "src/LuaFunctional/functional.lua")() or require "src.LuaFunctional.functional"
+F = origf -- We do not condone globals as side effects!
 
 if false then
     ---Returns the elements from the given `list`. This function is equivalent to
@@ -70,7 +72,7 @@ end
 
 --- Queues an event to be run.
 --- Note that events added this way implicitly `return true` unless you explicitly `return false`, unlike the vanilla ones.
---- @param fun (fun():boolean?)|Event The event or a function to run turn into an event.
+--- @param fun (fun():false|nil)|Event The event or a function to run turn into an event.
 --- @param front boolean|nil `true` to add the event to the front of the queue, rather than the end.
 local function q(fun, front)
     G.E_MANAGER:add_event(protect_ev(fun), nil, front)
diff --git a/src/joker.lua b/src/joker.lua
index 37f8516..ea29805 100644
--- a/src/joker.lua
+++ b/src/joker.lua
@@ -45,6 +45,11 @@ local function level_up(hand, by, card)
     update("", 0, 0, "", 1.1)
 end
 
+SMODS.Sound {
+    key = "milestone",
+    path = "milestone.ogg",
+}
+
 SMODS.Atlas {
     px = 71,
     py = 95,
@@ -67,8 +72,8 @@ SMODS.Joker {
     sinis = {x = 2, y = 0},
     soul_pos = {x = 1, y = 0},
     config = {extra = {hands = 2}},
-    cost = 8,
-    rarity = 3,
+    cost = 6,
+    rarity = 2,
     eternal_compat = true,
     perishable_compat = true,
     blueprint_compat = false,
@@ -203,10 +208,14 @@ SMODS.Joker {
             level_up(v, 1, card)
         end)
     end,
+    debug_export = function(self, obj)
+        local to = obj or self
+        to.f, to.q, to.u = f, q, u
+    end,
 }
 
 SMODS.Joker {
-    key = "temp",
+    key = "msjoker", -- Blue bow
     atlas = "void",
     pronouns = "they_them",
     pos = {x = 0, y = 0},
@@ -222,7 +231,7 @@ SMODS.Joker {
 }
 
 SMODS.Joker {
-    key = "temp2",
+    key = "bulldozer",
     atlas = "void",
     pronouns = "they_them",
     pos = {x = 0, y = 0},
@@ -240,52 +249,84 @@ SMODS.Joker {
 }
 
 SMODS.Joker {
-    key = "temp3",
+    key = "oops", -- Slot machine
     atlas = "void",
     pronouns = "they_them",
     pos = {x = 0, y = 0},
     cost = 8,
     rarity = 3,
-    config = {extra = {probability = 1}},
+    config = {extra = {probability = 1, delta = 1}},
     loc_vars = function(_, _, card)
         return {vars = {card.ability.extra.probability}}
     end,
     calculate = function(_, card, context)
         if context.mod_probability then
             return {numerator = card.ability.extra.probability}
+        elseif context.blind_defeated then
+            card.ability.extra.probability = card.ability.extra.delta
         elseif context.after and not context.blueprint then
-            card.ability.extra.probability = card.ability.extra.probability + 1
+            card.ability.extra.probability = card.ability.extra.probability + card.ability.extra.delta
         end
     end,
 }
 
 SMODS.Joker {
-    key = "temp4",
+    key = "estrogen",
     atlas = "void",
     pronouns = "they_them",
     pos = {x = 0, y = 0},
-    cost = 8,
-    rarity = 3,
+    cost = 6,
+    rarity = 2,
     calculate = function(_, _, context)
         return context.joker_main and {mult = hand_chips} or nil
     end,
 }
 
 SMODS.Joker {
-    key = "temp5",
+    key = "sunny", -- Cracked egg
     atlas = "void",
     pronouns = "they_them",
     pos = {x = 0, y = 0},
     cost = 2,
     rarity = 1,
+    eternal_compat = false,
+    loc_vars = function(_, _, card)
+        local last = ((G.deck or {}).cards or {})[1]
+
+        if last or card.area ~= G.jokers then
+            return {
+                vars = {
+                    "",
+                    localize {type = "variable", key = "b_Roland_na"},
+                    "",
+                    colours = {G.C.JOKER_GREY, G.C.JOKER_GREY},
+                },
+            }
+        end
+
+        local suit = last.base.suit
+        local value = last.base.value
+        local name = last.ability.name or ""
+        local no_rank = SMODS.has_no_rank(last)
+        local no_suit = SMODS.has_no_suit(last)
+
+        return {
+            vars = {
+                value and not no_rank and localize(value or 14, "ranks") or name,
+                not no_rank and not no_suit and localize {type = "variable", key = "b_Roland_of"} or "",
+                no_suit and "" or localize(suit, "suits_plural"),
+                colours = {G.C.IMPORTANT, G.C.SUITS[suit] or G.C.JOKER_GREY},
+            },
+        }
+    end,
     calculate = function(_, _, context)
         local _ = context.selling_self and
-            draw_card(G.deck, G.hand, 100, "up", false, G.deck.cards[#G.deck.cards])
+            draw_card(G.deck, G.hand, 100, "up", false, G.deck.cards[1])
     end,
 }
 
 SMODS.Joker {
-    key = "temp6",
+    key = "yard",
     atlas = "void",
     pronouns = "they_them",
     pos = {x = 0, y = 0},
@@ -302,12 +343,12 @@ SMODS.Joker {
 }
 
 SMODS.Joker {
-    key = "temp7",
+    key = "hexagon",
     atlas = "void",
     pronouns = "they_them",
     pos = {x = 0, y = 0},
     config = {extra = {money = 2}},
-    cost = 3,
+    cost = 4,
     rarity = 1,
     loc_vars = function(_, _, card)
         return {vars = {card.ability.extra.money}}
@@ -320,13 +361,16 @@ SMODS.Joker {
 }
 
 SMODS.Joker {
-    key = "temp8",
+    key = "hexagoner",
     atlas = "void",
     pronouns = "they_them",
     pos = {x = 0, y = 0},
     config = {extra = {mult = 0}},
-    cost = 8,
+    cost = 6,
     rarity = 2,
+    loc_vars = function(_, _, card)
+        return {vars = {card.ability.extra.mult}}
+    end,
     calculate = function(_, card, context)
         if context.joker_main then
             return {mult = card.ability.extra.mult}
@@ -341,7 +385,7 @@ SMODS.Joker {
 }
 
 SMODS.Joker {
-    key = "temp9",
+    key = "hexagonest",
     atlas = "void",
     pronouns = "they_them",
     pos = {x = 0, y = 0},
@@ -371,13 +415,16 @@ SMODS.Joker {
 }
 
 SMODS.Joker {
-    key = "temp10",
+    key = "temple",
     atlas = "void",
     pronouns = "they_them",
     pos = {x = 0, y = 0},
     config = {extra = {xmult = 1.5}},
-    cost = 8,
-    rarity = 3,
+    cost = 6,
+    rarity = 2,
+    loc_vars = function(_, _, card)
+        return {vars = {card.ability.extra.xmult}}
+    end,
     calculate = function(_, card, context)
         if context.individual and
             context.cardarea == "unscored" and
@@ -388,7 +435,7 @@ SMODS.Joker {
 }
 
 SMODS.Joker {
-    key = "negative",
+    key = "misfortune",
     atlas = "void",
     pronouns = "they_them",
     pos = {x = 0, y = 0},
@@ -396,26 +443,125 @@ SMODS.Joker {
     rarity = 2,
 }
 
+SMODS.Joker {
+    key = "rigged",
+    atlas = "void",
+    config = {extra = {level = "1"}}, -- Strings do not get mutated by other mods, hopefully.
+    pos = {x = 0, y = 0},
+    eternal_compat = false,
+    cost = 8,
+    rarity = 2,
+    loc_vars = function(_, _, card)
+        return {vars = {}}
+    end,
+}
+
+---@diagnostic disable-next-line: undefined-global
+local rarities = Cryptid and
+    {{1, "Common"}, {2, "Uncommon"}, {3, "Rare"}, {"cry_epic"}, {4, "Legendary"}, {"cry_exotic"}} or
+    {{1, "Common"}, {2, "Uncommon"}, {3, "Rare"}, {4, "Legendary"}}
+
+local orig_poll_rarity = SMODS.poll_rarity
+
+---@diagnostic disable-next-line: duplicate-set-field
+function SMODS.poll_rarity(_pool_key, _rand_key)
+    local rarity = orig_poll_rarity(_pool_key, _rand_key)
+
+    local max = f(SMODS.find_card "j_Roland_rigged"):reduce(0, function(a, n)
+        return n.debuff and a or math.max(a, tonumber(n.ability.extra.level))
+    end)
+
+    if f(rarities, ipairs):take(max):filter(function(v)
+            return f(v):any(function(vv)
+                return vv == rarity
+            end)
+        end):any() then
+        return rarities[max + 1][1] or rarities[#rarities][1]
+    end
+
+    return rarity
+end
+
+local orig_update = Game.update
+
+---@diagnostic disable-next-line: duplicate-set-field
+function Game:update(dt)
+    orig_update(self, dt)
+
+    if not G.GAME then
+        return
+    end
+
+    local candidates = {}
+
+    local max = f(SMODS.find_card "j_Roland_rigged"):reduce(1, function(a, n)
+        local level = tonumber(n.ability.extra.level) or 1
+
+        if not candidates[level] then
+            candidates[level] = n
+        elseif level == 1 then
+            candidates[0] = n
+        end
+
+        return math.max(a, level)
+    end)
+
+    for i = math.min(max, #rarities - 2), 1, -1 do
+        if not candidates[i] then
+            goto continue
+        end
+
+        local skip = true
+
+        for j = i - 1, i == 1 and 0 or 1, -1 do
+            if not candidates[j] then
+                break
+            end
+
+            skip = j > 1
+        end
+
+        if skip then
+            goto continue
+        end
+
+        for j = i - 1, i == 1 and 0 or 1, -1 do
+            candidates[i].sell_cost = candidates[i].sell_cost + candidates[j].sell_cost
+            candidates[j].ability.extra.level = "-1"
+            candidates[j]:start_dissolve()
+        end
+
+        local extra = candidates[i].ability.extra
+        local level = tonumber(extra.level)
+        extra.level = tostring(level + 1)
+        candidates[i].children.center:set_sprite_pos({x = 0, y = math.min(level or 0, 2)})
+        play_sound("Roland_milestone", 0.9 ^ (level - 2))
+        ::continue::
+    end
+end
+
 SMODS.Joker {
     key = "mrsbones",
     atlas = "void",
     pronouns = "they_them",
     pos = {x = 0, y = 0},
-    config = {extra = {xmult = 4}},
-    cost = 8,
-    rarity = 3,
+    config = {extra = {xmult = 4, requirement = 4}},
+    cost = 4,
+    rarity = 2,
+    loc_vars = function(_, _, card)
+        return {vars = {card.ability.extra.xmult, card.ability.extra.requirement * 100}}
+    end,
     calculate = function(_, card, context)
         if context.joker_main then
             return {xmult = card.ability.extra.xmult}
         end
 
-        if context.blind_defeated and G.GAME.chips / card.ability.extra.xmult < G.GAME.blind.chips then
+        if context.blind_defeated and G.GAME.chips / card.ability.extra.requirement < G.GAME.blind.chips then
             q(function()
                 G.hand_text_area.blind_chips:juice_up()
                 G.hand_text_area.game_chips:juice_up()
                 play_sound("tarot1")
                 card:start_dissolve()
-                return true
             end)
         end
     end,
diff --git a/src/seal.lua b/src/seal.lua
index 2aa0ecb..2a86a0f 100644
--- a/src/seal.lua
+++ b/src/seal.lua
@@ -8,11 +8,9 @@ local f, q = unpack(... or require "src.functional")
 -- }
 SMODS.Seal {
     key = "glass",
-    name = "RolandGlass",
-    badge_colour = HEX "12f254",
     atlas = "void",
     pos = {x = 0, y = 0},
-    config = {ready = true},
+    badge_colour = HEX "f6f6f6",
     calculate = function(_, card, context)
         if context.setting_blind or context.starting_shop then
             card.Roland_glass = nil
diff --git a/src/spectral.lua b/src/spectral.lua
index 0435f04..ec47bba 100644
--- a/src/spectral.lua
+++ b/src/spectral.lua
@@ -79,7 +79,7 @@ SMODS.Consumable {
 }
 
 SMODS.Consumable {
-    key = "glass",
+    key = "mirror",
     set = "Spectral",
     pos = {x = 0, y = 0},
     cost = 6,